EP19: How to Handle a Regenerative Crisis of Confidence (According To My 4 Year Old Son!)
What happens when self-doubt creeps into your regenerative career journey? And you start to doubt your ability to make an impact or struggle with the loneliness of forging your own path. If this feels familiar, you're not alone.
This week, I share my own personal story of finding unexpected wisdom in the backseat of my car, thanks to my 4-year-old son’s impromptu song. I talk about why confidence issues often arise in regenerative work and offer some practical strategies for overcoming these moments of uncertainty.
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Root Causes of Confidence Struggles
I've been experiencing a crisis of confidence in the last few weeks partly due to a bout of ill health and changing hormones. I was driving home, after a busy weekend, just desperate to get into bed, when my four-year-old started singing and for the first time in quite a few days, a huge smile spread across my face. I just felt such joy as I realised that the words that he was singing were exactly what I needed to hear. You'll have to read to the end for the words of his song. But to start with here are the reasons why I think I’m having confidence issues at the moment, some of these might resonate with you too.
No 1 – The Old Tools No Longer Serve Me
For me, an old tool in moments of crisis, would have been to work harder – to put in more and more hours and come up with better solutions. But I've discovered that when I give into that tendency to work every second of the day my body shuts down and it’s not sustainable. I believe that regenerative work must make space for cycles, for ups and for downs, for ebbs and flows and darkness and light. And that reflection, rather than pushing harder, is what is needed in difficult times.
No 2 – Disentangling from the System
The second reason I think I’m struggling with my confidence is that I’m disentangling from a system that I've known all my life. I’m stepping outside of my identity as a CEO and founder and rediscovering who I am without those labels. I’m also questioning everything that I’ve been taught to believe in. And while this is necessary work, and mostly exhilarating, there can be moments of loneliness in the process of letting go.
No 3 – Eco-Anxiety
Something that almost all of my clients describe to me, and I can relate to, is carrying the weight of very heavy and painful feelings. When you realise that we're on the path to destruction and want to do something about it, it can feel overwhelming. Especially if a lack of confidence causes us to freeze rather than take action.
No 4 – Feeling Alone
Choosing regenerative work is not the same as choosing a well-trodden career path where you can look at what other people are doing and sort of copy it, like I did when I was starting my climate tech agency. In regenerative work you are often forging your own path. This is very difficult to do alone, which is why I’m grateful to the informal regenerative communities I’m part of and the connections I’ve made. My personal aim in 2025 is to build the Regenerative Worklife community so that we can learn from and support each other.
No 5 – I’m Making it Up
The truth is I'm making it up as I go along and I've done that throughout my career. I'm pretty good at it. I applaud making it up. It is exactly what I encourage my coaching clients to do because it is what everybody else is doing, they just might not admit it. But the stakes are so much higher now, and it feels like there isn't the luxury of time or complacency anymore, which means ‘making it up’ can feel even more frightening,
No 6 – I Can’t See the Destination
I distinctly remember the moment that I made a commitment to myself to move forward without needing to know what the destination would be and to focus on the next right step. I've been doing it for two years now and it's still scary and also joyful, but it isn't easy. I know exactly the kind of work I want to do. I love working with my clients. I have an idea of how I want this business to fit within my life and the balance I want to find there. I also have very early ideas about what I will do when I'm in a position to have impact beyond my business – like finding a way to invest into rewilding projects. But it's very much in ideation stage, and I just have to have the confidence to keep going forwards.
Do the Next Right Thing…Even if it’s Wobbly
I keep coming back to the phrase: “Do the next right thing”. And that it’s okay for this to feel a bit wobbly. In fact, it’s absolutely natural for it to feel a bit wobbly. I am someone who thrives on change and challenges and I am struggling with this too. So what should we do when these crises of confidence pop up?
Build Community
One of the things I want to focus on in 2025 is to create more community space within Regenerative Worklife. Part of this will be to start an online community cafe, where anyone who is on this journey to quit corporate or start a regenerative career or business can come together to share ideas, to be in solidarity, to offer or ask for help and be in a space with each other. If that's something that interests you, then either follow the Regenerative Worklife LinkedIn page or subscribe to my weekly emails.
Know Your Why
We may not know the destination, but we have to know why we're doing this and we have to remind ourselves of it daily. The more clearly that we can articulate that, the more confidence we will have to stay the course. If that doesn't feel immediately accessible to you, I invite you to spend some time reflecting, journaling perhaps, on what is your reason for embarking on this transition.
Just Keep Practising
Finally, I bring you to the words of wonderful Otto, aged four, singing In the back of my car, in the dark, in the rain, for about 20 minutes, just for himself. The song went something like this:
“Just keep practising, you can do it. Whatever you want to do, you can do it, if you just keep practising. Just keep practising. You'll be able to ride a bike with stabilisers or become a farmer. Just keep on practising. You can do it”
And here is why this song brought me such joy yesterday after a pretty glum week. Because of course we should approach this work with the beginner's mind of a four-year-old who believes that if he keeps trying and puts in the work, one day he will be able to ride a bike without stabilisers. He knows that he needs to practice because he's never done it before and it's really challenging and it's a bit scary and he expects it to take time, he expects it to be hard. I think we can all learn something from this.
